What's new?!

What’s new?! Our world goes down the drain. Today one of my friends has sent me an article, which tells about a new Internet project “virtual wife”. A woman who has organized it says that with the help of her project she saves many unfortunate men from loneliness. Well, I can’t say that I am in need with this project, but I find this idea pretty interesting. I think that apart from the fact that there are some considerable disadvantages of the virtual love, there is definitely a plenty of advantages. Well, this project is not for me…but…who knows?

8 office humour secrets that won't get you fired

Bringing humor to the office can have a lot of benefits, but if you're not careful, it can also backfire - big time. Here are some tips on making sure your attempts at humor don't cross the line and turn you into an April Fool.

1. Start slowly

If you jump right in with a hefty dose of humor, you're likely to make others uncomfortable and alienate potential supporters, no matter how harmless it may seem.

2. Think first

Before you launch any kind of practical joke, consider whether it really will be funny for all involved. If it's likely to make others feel the need to "get even," you're better off calling it off before a vicious cycle begins.

3. Play it safe

If you're not sure whether a particular joke or shenanigan is appropriate, it probably isn't.

4. Be respectful

This doesn't mean you can't poke fun at people from time to time, but only by respecting them first and foremost can you have fun without offending or alienating.

5. Check for negativity

Poking fun at someone as a way to vent negative feelings isn't funny, and can injure inter-office relationships.

6. Avoid sensitive topics

Jokes about someone's weight, age, intelligence, or other personal characteristics have the potential to hurt self-esteem -- and should be absolutely off-limits.

7. Excel first

When you're competent, people respect you, and you can have fun at what you do. But if you're not doing a good job, using humor may work against you and make otherwise innocent fun seem out of place or, worse yet, downright offensive.

8. Don't get carried away

Remember, even where humor is concerned, your best bet is to focus on taking yourself lightly and your work seriously.

Office humor is a wonderful thing that can bring workers together and relieve tension and stress. With these guidelines you will have your colleagues chuckling without offending anyone.

And who knows, maybe your boss appreciates amusing employees. And that's no laughing matter.

Hey friends, what do we have now?! Yes, right a new business week. I'm not tired yet, but I don't have strong desire to exert me too much. What about you?

Have you ever thought about how our working days passed ? No?

Look at this picture one more time, I'm sure many of you will see their own case. Don't forget to share your oppinions, what of these things fit to your own schedule...

LIFE IN THE OFFICE!

D'you like your job very much?! And maybe you try to spend as much time as it possible in the office?! So, you should look at these pictures of inveterate workers, maybe you'll find there yourself! )))

Funny office stories!

Double Standards

When I take a long time, I am slow.
When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough.

When I don''t do it, I am lazy.
When my boss doesn''t do it, he is too busy.

When I do something without being told, I am trying to be smart.
When my boss does the same, that is initiative.

When I please my boss, I''m ass-kissing.
When my boss pleases his boss, he''s co-operating.

When I do good, my boss never remembers.
When I do wrong, he never forgets

Top 10 Reasons to Go to Work Naked

· Your boss is always yelling, "I wanna see your butt in here by 8:00!"

· Take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.

· Inventive way to finally meet that hunk in Human Resources.

· "I''d love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants."

· To stop those creepy guys in Marketing from looking down your blouse.

· You want to see if it''s like the dream.

· People stop stealing your pens after they''ve seen where you keep them.

· Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work drunk.

· Gives "bad hair day" a whole new meaning.

· No one steals your chair.

TOP TEN EXCUSES FOR FALLING ASLEEP AT YOUR DESK

"They told me at the blood bank this might happen."

"I wasn't sleeping, I was trying to pick up contact lens without hands."

"I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!"

"Amen"

"This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to."

"Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper"

"I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work related stress."

"This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!"

"Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won't wear off!"

"Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."

NEW SECRETARY

Two guys were discussing the new secretary at their office. John to George: "Man, I dated her last Tuesday and we had wonderful sex. She's a lot better in bed than my wife!"

Two days later. George to John: "Well, I dated her too and we had sex as well, but I still think your wife is better in bed!"

A STORY ABOUT EVERYBODY

This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody.

There was an important job to be done and Everybody was asked to do it. Everybody was sure Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.

Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it.

It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.